I haven’t been blogging lately. And it’s not for lack of material. Trust me, I could write a book already. But it might be a depressing, morbidly self-deprecating article on the hardships of middle-income life and the not-quite-getting there theology of repressed goals. *sigh* Life is hard. Anyone out there feeling that? I mean, REALLY hard. Some days it’s easier to stay in bed, close the curtains, shut the door and pretend that no one out there exists. Well, other than the drooling cat sharing my pillow. Thank God for cats. They are a great sympathetic ear. No matter how whiny the words are that come out of our mouths, they purr and nuzzle. And all they want is to be loved.
Our valley of despair seems to be worse some days than others. In the past week we have had to come face to face with the hard truths: Our kids are growing apart. Our finances have weakened to a state where bankruptcy has actually been a verbalized option. We have mounting bills, taxes due, mortgage arrears, vehicles in desperate need of repair and today, our son got in his 3rd accident of the past 6 months. It’s enough to make grown men cry. And they have: both of them. My husband and my son, a mess of tears and broken pain.
Overwhelmed and depleted of any energy to stop what appears to be a roller-coaster let loose on the downward spiral track. Out of control. Lost. And yet, not abandoned. That is the mysterious surprise in it all. We are beat down, bruised and yet not crushed. We could be. Maybe we should be. Sometimes we’re close. But we always rebound.
I love this passage. I think I need to read it every day. It is so true that what we are going through is temporary. And I have said from the beginning that I just want God’s glory to be revealed. I just want Him to get the praise for whatever happens. And even when things go down hill I still want Him to be praised. Because folks, you see, we are not here for ourselves. We are here for Jesus. We are His light in a dark world. And whatever hard times I may be facing is only to bring me closer to Him and to show others the pathway to His glorious light. It’s not easy. It’s not fun. It hurts and I am tired. But there is an eternal destiny for all of us. And I know that all of Heaven and the Holy Host are on my side, cheering me on. The finish line is near, but for now, the work of running the race remains. With blistered feet and throbbing pain….we will push forward.
2 Corinthians 4:1 Therefore, since through God’s mercy we have this ministry, we do not lose heart.2 Rather, we have renounced secret and shameful ways; we do not use deception, nor do we distort the word of God. On the contrary, by setting forth the truth plainly we commend ourselves to everyone’s conscience in the sight of God. 3 And even if our gospel is veiled, it is veiled to those who are perishing. 4 The god of this age has blinded the minds of unbelievers, so that they cannot see the light of the gospel that displays the glory of Christ,who is the image of God. 5 For what we preach is not ourselves, but Jesus Christ as Lord,and ourselves as your servants for Jesus’ sake. 6 For God, who said, “Let light shine out of darkness,”[a] made his light shine in our hearts to give us the light of the knowledge of God’s glory displayed in the face of Christ.
7 But we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all-surpassing power is from Godand not from us. 8 We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; 9 persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed. 10 We always carry around in our body the death of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus may also be revealed in our body. 11 For we who are alive are always being given over to death for Jesus’ sake, so that his life may also be revealed in our mortal body. 12 So then, death is at work in us, but life is at work in you.
13 It is written: “I believed; therefore I have spoken.”[b] Since we have that same spirit of[c]faith, we also believe and therefore speak, 14 because we know that the one who raised the Lord Jesus from the dead will also raise us with Jesus and present us with you to himself.15 All this is for your benefit, so that the grace that is reaching more and more people may cause thanksgiving to overflow to the glory of God.
16 Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. 17 For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. 18 So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.
If all I can do and all I can say is that God is still God. Then let it be so. And I do believe in miracles. I believe we are on the cusp of one right now. And it likely won’t come in the way we planned or expected. But I learned many months ago that plans and expectations are petals in the wind: gone in a breath.