On Sunday night I had a moment where I thought, “maybe it’s just better to shut up and fade off into the sunset.” It was a moment.
I knew this would be hard~ speaking out and speaking up. And I also know that it’s harder on my husband than it is on me. He has his entire life history wrapped up in a ball of lies and abuse and for him, it would be easier to roll over and continue playing the game.
But we have children and they’re not naive or exempt from seeing and feeling the repercussions of a family that chooses to intimidate and threaten instead of love and accept. So for them, we must speak up. And not only for them, but for the ones who cannot speak or who are too afraid to speak.
You cannot silence me. And you will not silence the truth.
Yesterday, as I was praying about what to say, how to respond and if it was even worth it, I asked the Lord to speak to me and let me know if it’s okay that I am even speaking out at all. And then this happened……
On Ann Voskamp’s Facebook wall she posted a link to her latest blog. Her status said this “This is for you.” And the beginning of the text of her post read: “Dear Thriver”
I stopped and paid attention. You see, my ONEWORD for 2013 is Thrive. And Ann doesn’t know that, but God does. I don’t want to just live this year. I don’t want to just survive. I.WANT. TO. THRIVE.
And typically, Ann’s posts are encouraging in the most meek way. She rarely posts controversy or something aggressive in nature. But this post was a call on me and it was a call out to the enablers and the silencers. You must read it here>>> Letters to the Wounded {#2}
Can I just whisper? I know you must feel like people have wanted you to go away. Sweep your scars under the proverbial rug. Erase you, avoid you, silence you.
Because it’s too uncomfortable for us, the neighbors, the church, the Body, to face our own culpability in scars. Face our own fallen disfigurement. Pollyanna wasn’t the only one who wore rose-colored glasses. Few like to admit that we come from a long line of Roman soldiers. And when it comes to the bloodied and wounded, we suddenly all lose our thin, bare necks and become turtles, shirk back into our see-nothing shells. We don’t want to know details or listen to wounds weep or wade into the bloody mess. Christ is the Truth but too many of His people run from that.
If Christ is The Truth — then where there isn’t Truth, there isn’t Christ. Why ever be afraid of the Truth?You only need fear the Truth of anything — if you think Christ isn’t capable of redeeming everything.
If we believe in the sovereign grace of God, the redemptive restoration of God — then we are never afraid of the Truth.
And maybe our deafening silence is just this: Truth necessitates confrontation — and a whole lot of us are more chicken than Christian. We’d rather save our own skin, than the skin of the bruised and battered and beaten. We’re more in love with self-preservation than with Savior-glorification.
We’d rather make pain invisible than say injustice is intolerable — so the injustice continues.
So,to the one who has been reading my blog~you know who you are~ and then reporting back your version to your pack of wolves, understand this: you will not silence me. You will not threaten me or any other person in the family. If you choose to believe lies and hide behind them, you will live in that place alone. By defending abuse and condemning victims , you have become the abuser.
I’m calling on all who are defending abusers to lay down your pride and stand up for truth and justice.
Thank you! Thank you for refusing to be silenced. Thank you to your husband for having the courage to say “no more” and for his willingness to let his story, your story be a voice for the battered, the abused and the bullied so that they may too say “no more”. I am so proud of you and your husband. I read Ann’s post and cried. Her beautiful post really touched me too.
You are so right about people not wanting to hear about it let alone talk about it. I have barely anyone to talk to about the trauma we went through recently. They change the subject or hurry me past it when I bring it up in hopes of having someone listen and care about the hell we are going through. We suffer in silence and it has caused us to be even more isolated and lonely. This is why I didn’t tell anyone when I was raped or about the other multiple acts of violence against me. Most of it is a secret. The cry of my heart is that no one would go through these things alone and that people would stand up to these bullys and abusers along side their victims. Sadly, all to often they are left standing alone because it is too uncomfortable and they don’t want to make waves.
So thank you from the bottom of my heart for these raw powerful posts that you share with an attempt to expose the abusers and bullys and to give power to those that have been hurt by them. Bless you. Saying prayers for you and your family. XXOO
I’m so sorry that you are being shut out of telling your story. Just know that there are many, many, many like you and collectively we can make our voices heard.