The Stupidity of Canadian Bureaucracy

I’m going to rant for a minute and then I will be done.  After all , it is nearly Thanksgiving and I have much to be thankful for.  As you may or may not know, we have been in the midst of a ridiculous situation regarding getting a mortgage for our new home.  We sat down with our banker August 21 to explore the possibility of buying before our house sold.  We left her office that day in fairly good spirits because according to the “computer” we looked good.  She only needed a couple of pieces of information and the paperwork would go on to the powers that be for approval.  That was then, this is now.

After nearly 5 weeks of haggling and phoning, sweating and groaning, good news and bad news we got our answer today.  The same answer we had that day; we’re approved.   So what happened in the middle?  I’ll tell you what: Toronto.  Yes, I blame Toronto.  Toronto is the reason for all of our problems.   If you live in Toronto you may want to reconsider and move elsewhere.   There is a stupid cloud over Southern Ontario and it is threatening the very existence of hard working people in the west.

Take, for example, the bureaucrat on the phone from CMHC(that would be the Canada Mortgage and Housing insurance company who finance homeowners with less than 20% down).    This woman was absolutely blinded and ignorant of the fact that we, out here  in Saskatchewan, could really buy a place that was already built with a nice house , a shop and more than 1/2 an acre of space.  She saw the MLS listing  and noticed a dog run and former grooming room on the back of the shop.  She could not get past it.  Why were we buying such a property? Were we planning on grooming dogs? That would be income. What were we going to do with the income? What if we made money from it? Wouldn’t that be considered a commercial property?     I kid you not~ this went on for an hour or more with our banker who ultimately hung up the phone and decided that we had to come up with more than 20% to avoid dealing with these pea-brained fools.  

Plan B: Residential mortgage for a rural property.  Seems pretty straightforward to me.  Nope.  The bank’s head office is where? Oh, Toronto! Of course.   So the bank decides that they will approve us but they need a clarification on the value of the property.  Ok, so this is easy , right?  No.  Banker calls company to appraise.  Where is the company? Oh, Toronto, of course.  They can’t find an appraiser near us so they call one 3 hours away.  She calls us and is confused as to why someone in North Battleford would not have been called.  I’m not lying here people, this is really what happened.  It took 5 days…yes, FIVE DAYS for the “PROFESSIONALS” to find an appraiser 1 hour away.  I cannot begin to tell you all of the rolling of the eyes and comments I have received from the people here(the appraiser, the real estate agent, the banker) at the nightmarish hoops that we have had to jump through for something so simple.

So, when it came to appraising this property, the appraiser was only allowed to appraise the value of the house and 5 acres and no shops.  Because that would be against the “residential” rules.  So, our 150+ acres and 2 shops plus equipment could not factor in.  I’m going to walk away from this one because it just angers me.  The appraiser was great….he embellished.  And even though his appraisal price did not come back the same as our purchase price, it came back close enough to get us the downpayment and mortage that we needed.

Today on the news I heard about a new law in …..wait for it………Toronto.  Have you heard about this?

So now they want to limit how many vehicles homeowners can park on their driveways!!   I must be living in stupidland.   What’s next?    These are supposedly the smartest people in the country, because us hicks can’t have our own decision makers.  No, we dummies on the prairies are too poor and stupid.  Poor us.  

I apologize to my family and friends who live in the GTA; this is not directed at you.   My frustration is with the yahoos in the offices who have never even seen a field of wheat, a grain truck, a grain elevator or my backside as I storm out of their office.  It’s a good thing there’s 1000 miles between me and T.O.


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