Not funny, Mommy.

This afternoon my daughter informed me of a fact that is all too obvious to me and apparently to her.  I am not fun anymore. 

She told me this as we were discussing how she has changed over the years from the cute little girl who LOVED her mommy so much to the much more mature teenage girl who thinks I’m lame.  **sigh** My mother always said “this too shall pass.”  Really? Will it?   I mean, that kind of stings.  I am not as fun as I used to be or…let me clarify, I am NOT FUN at all!  So, when did I stop being fun? Did I stop being fun when she stopped being funNY?    Or did she stop being funny when I stopped being fun?  Oh, it’s all so confusing.  I know now why some mothers are sane~ they have boys.  It is a tough thing for a mother and a daughter to grow up together.  I tried to tenderly explain to her that I’ve never been the mother of a daughter before.  I’ve been the daughter of a mother, and that was traumatic enough~ my mother will concur! But no, it is not the same. 

Are you following me? Seriously, are you? Because I’m confusing myself!

Yes, it is true, teenage daughters try their mothers’ patience time and time again.  But do we have to be so mean in the process?   I’m desperately trying the “fun-love” approach but it’s not yielding such great results.  I am still lame. 

The only comfort I have gleaned from this most recent switch in our relationship dynamic is that I am still her mother~ and there’s NOTHING she can do about it!!   I have the paperwork and the scars to prove it.  And I also believe that mothering trumps friendships anyday so I will suck it up and be thankful that I’m her mother and not her friend.  I get to know her longer and be there when the friend-SHIPS set sail. 😉  Love you daughter of mine(you know who you are. )

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One thought on “Not funny, Mommy.

  1. I was a real pain in the you know what towards my mom when I was a teenager. Her experience of being a teenager was so vastly different from mine that I was *sure* she couldn’t possibly understand what I was going through. (Can we say I was self-absorbed much?)I was rude, disrespectful and distant. She gave me 2 things when I was a teenager that really made the difference. Space and grace. Space to figure things out for myself, make my own mistakes and come to my own conclusions. And grace to know that when I needed her she was there, no matter what kind of attitude I’d been giving her. She didn’t try to be my buddy, she just continued being my very understanding and patient mom. I was becoming my own person, with an identity apart from her, which is a necessary thing for every teenage girl but not a very fun mother daughter process.

    When I grew up, I grew out of it. I have tremendous respect for my mother and she is my go-to person when I need advice, especially with my kids. We don’t always agree about absolutely everything, but that’s okay, and I do consider her a friend, now that I’ve gotten over myself and come to realization that I am not the center of my own universe.

    This is why when people ask if we’re going to try for a girl I look at them like they must be crazy. I was such a horrible teenager toward my mom that I’m sure I’d reap what I sowed if I ever had a girl. 😛

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