Plans

I planned my wedding when I was 13. And then I planned it again when I was 16.  And again when I was 18, 19, 20…..ya, that one stuck.

I planned on having a baby in 1993…..sadly, that was not to be.  But in 1994 it happened!

I planned to NOT have a baby in 1995 but I did! 🙂 The only kid that was planned and where the plan succeeded was Emily, who was born in 1998.

Plans change.  Plans get shelved.  Plans are not what you thought they would be.

I always thought that when I got married and had babies that life would be settled, normal and low maintenance.   Boy, was I wrong!   There is nothing settled or low maintenance about having a family.  And what is normal? I have no idea as everyone I know is abnormal including me.  The new normal is NO normal.

We are now 7 months into our new plan of moving, setting up shop, setting up a home and getting into our groove.  We have reached NONE of those goals. In fact, we’re beginning to wonder where we went wrong.  What was the plan? Did we really have a plan?  I thought we did but in reality the only plan was “get out”.  As in get out of where we were.  So , I guess in that sense we have succeeded.  Except….well, that’s not really cutting it now.

Maybe I’m just getting too old for this.  Maybe the devil you know is better than the devil you don’t?  Perhaps being dissatisfied with school and church would have been easier to deal with knowing we were living in a beautiful area and we had lots of work .  But no,  the kids are doing better.  School is much more challenging and rewarding here.  Athletic involvement is WAY up in our household.  This is good.   And yet…..we wonder.

Leroy’s plans of starting a successful electrical company have not proved to be rewarding or profitable.  In fact, he wants to quit.  He’s tired of the bureaucracy and the lazy attitude of his suppliers and shippers.   It seems that whatever we try to do comes against not one but several stumbling blocks.  And most of them are hitting us hard in the bank account.  It feels as though we are going backwards instead of forwards.   Is this a sign? Maybe.  What do you do when you’re really good at something but you’ve lost the passion and drive to do it?  How do you start over or motivate yourself? These are the questions we are asking.

Right now , we have no plans.  Well, actually, the only plan is to get through today.  That’s about all we can focus on at this point.  Thankfully, we’re not alone. And Someone else has a plan(though we don’t know what it is).

Jeremiah 29:11

For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. 12 Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. 13 You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. 14 I will be found by you,” declares the LORD, “and will bring you back from captivity.

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