When I die my husband should probably donate my brain to science. After all, it will be worthless decomposing in the ground somewhere. I think it will actually be quite the challenge for any scientist to figure out what the heck is going on in my mass of grey matter. Most days I can’t really tell you what’s going on in there either~ it’s absolutely fascinating! 🙂
But in all seriousness, I have discovered over time that I have developed some pretty amazing abilities. In fact one of them is getting better and better by the day. Consider this: I have been a mother for over 17 years(counting the in-utero time). If you add up my 4 kids I have over 57 years of mothering experience! Wow! Anyhow, in all of those years I have been perfecting the art of tuning out. Yes, that’s right. I can tune out the most amazing sounds and distractions. Particularly when I’m reading. If I am reading a blog post, an article, a story, a book , a newspaper, a catalogue(IKEA is my fav), a magazine…..you name it….I absolutely do not hear or recognize any other sounds directed towards me or around me.
My daughter, who is 15 and often thinks the world revolves around her, has become increasingly annoyed with me. Just yesterday she was talking to me about…something….I was heavily in the midst of reading some important files…when she stopped talking and asked her question…and then began to say, “mom, MOM, MOOOOOMmmmmm!!!”..I looked up and said “What?” She huffed, threw her hands up in the air, stormed out of the room , slammed the door and screamed. I tried to explain to her that I had no clue what she said or that she was even talking to me. I also told her she ought to know by now that if you want my attention, you need to make eye contact and make SURE I’m listening before you begin to speak. She retorted back that I never listened and then went into her typical teen-hormonal rant about how unimportant she must be. ***sigh*** I don’t mean to do it, really I don’t. But here’s the deal: 4 babies in 5.5 years….2 of whom were colicky, fussy and not consolable. Add to that toddlers who are noisy, toddlers with tantrums, pre-schoolers with 1000 questions a day, kindergartners with 5000 comments a day…..GAHHHHHHH!!!! You just sort of learn to turn it all off. You know? Tell me, you mothers out there…you totally know what I’m talking about , right?
Then there’s the fighting, the vying for attention, the screams of children playing coupled with the screams of children who are tired. The middle school years where everyone has an opinion. The pre-teen years of needing to be heard. The teens who think they know it all and just HAVE to share their wealth of knowledge with you…..yes, sometimes it’s a never-ending verbal diarrhea epidemic around here.
My husband hates noise. He can’t have anyone talking when he’s napping in the van on a road trip. He hates that I have the radio on in the house during the day when he’s doing office work. He must have silence. Apparently he did not spend enough time alone with our children at home. He would have learned how to have super-powers like I have.
And finally, I really know I’ve hit the jackpot when we’re in a restaurant or a store and a 2 year old tantrum is taking place somewhere close by. I happily go about my shopping or eating, chatting and not at all phased. Only when I see other shoppers/diners stopping to stare, gasp, whisper do I realize that there’s something going on. I’ve ticked off all of my kids. I’ve made some of them cry. They’ve been angry. My husband rolls his eyes when he thinks that I should be listening but he discovers that clearly I am not. I have perfected the art of not listening. In a world where there’s so much noise and sounds….I can hear only what I want to hear and see only what I want to see. It is my disengaged escape.
You see, I’m visual..if I see it, I hear it. If only my children knew that trick…get my eyes focussed on them, and I’m all ears! 🙂 Shhhhh…that’s my little secret too.
….happily reading and blissfully unaware that anyone is talking to me …..