Their Problems~My Problem

It’s not about me.  

How often have you heard that phrase but neglected to understand what it really means?  I probably have way too often.  In this past year I’ve likely made everything about me when it never was intended to be.

What am {I} doing wrong?  {I} must have missed something.  Why can’t {I} just figure this out?  

These are the questions I ask and have yet to find the answers.  And then it hit me: it has NOTHING to do with me and my circumstance but rather what SOMEONE ELSE can learn, will learn, will hear,  through my journey.  And here’s the thing: if my attitude sucks; if my joy is incomplete? Well, it’s not up to me to figure out how someone else will take that .  It’s up to THEM to figure out what THEY’RE going to do about it.   

And the reverse is true.  I have found myself questioning why some friends and family have chosen to do the things they do.  I get frustrated and worried for them.  I question their attitudes and motives and try to spiritualize why they’ve gotten themselves into the mess they’re in.   But you know what?  That ‘s none of my concern.  My issue, if I want to take issue with it, is to be the person to them that I wish people would be to me:  loving, caring, kind.  Maybe the trouble they’re going through isn’t about them.  Maybe it’s about me.  Maybe I need to put my money where my mouth is; my action where my faith-walk is.   If I say that Jesus loves everyone the same , then maybe my messy,dirty, un-holy, sin-generating family and friends are just the medicine for my sick, twisted, judgmental heart that says you have to be clean and perfect, holy and upright .

You see, it’s pretty easy to stand on this side of the fence and look over at you and make a laundry list of everything you’re doing wrong. But the reality is, I need to put down the pen and paper and climb over that fence and help you hang your laundry.   

If we are going to LOVE like Christ loves, {It is the Christmas season, need I remind you….or me}  then we have to go to the people who need the love the most.  The un-loved,  the un-lovely.  They don’t play by the same rules and they probably won’t. And it doesn’t matter.

Do you have someone in your life right now who frustrates you to no end with their lifestyle choices?  Have you considered the fact that it might not be your job to “redeem them”?  Maybe the only purpose they have for being who they are/where they are is to get YOU off of your Holy-Roller band-wagon and sacrifice your comfort and perfect “saved-by-grace” attitude just to love them.  Not to save them. Not to get them on a clearer path. Nope.   Just because YOU need to see that God loves them exactly the same way as He loves you. And that’s it.

 

Advent week 2 post about Love…..

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