A week ago, we were sitting together as a family for a late New Year’s brunch around our kitchen table. We don’t get these moments very often~ gathered together, no pressures, no agendas, laughing, talking.
And then it happened. That moment.
The words that came out of my husband. He considered…is considering…a “reversal” so that we can have another baby.
Well knock me down and call me Susan!
No, don’t worry. It’s NOT happening! This old mare, ain’t what she used to be!! But wow, what a discussion to have on the first day of this new year! We laughed some more. And when the kids all share an opinion, well you can imagine how loud it got. There was that, and then the whole “farting” conversation. Yes, we are quite the classy bunch.
I had my kids home for 10 days. We haven’t had this since mid-summer. And no, there are no college aged folks in our midst. Just a circumstance that we have found ourselves in. I counted the days that my husband and I have slept apart in the past year and I stopped at 150. Truly, who could have EVER imagined that this would be happening? I certainly wasn’t prepared for it.
I chose a word for myself for 2012: Redeemed. It’s been on my heart for over a month. I actually am struggling to grasp what it really means. For now, I am starting with redeeming the moments that we actually have together. There aren’t many and so, we must make them important and memory-giving.
This week has also seen a transition of a different kind. My family is visiting at the bedside of my grandfather who is truly the most Biblically righteous person I know. He quotes scripture like no one I’ve ever known. He has been the leader and shepherd of our family for over 70 years(He and Grandma had their 71st anniversary in November). But his body is weak and he is getting ready to go home to the green pastures of Heaven. Pastures where there are horses by the tens of thousands for him to ride and tend as he has done his whole life. And still, I wonder what kind of world it will be without my grandpa’s strong, tender voice.
Yesterday, I was driving home after dropping the two oldest off with my husband to return to their routine 5 hours away. Bittersweet moments~ routine is needed and required for all of us but splitting up to do this routine is tough.
My husband told me he got angry with God on the drive~ why is this taking so long?? And what are we supposed to be doing about it? And why are aren’t you showing us what to do….and why, how, when……the answers are not visible, yet.
For me, I decided that a 2 hour drive home into the sunset was a great opportunity to worship with my camera. We pass by all kinds of prairie scenes and we never stop. With no one with me it was my free pass to take my time. I’m so glad I did. A new unopened CD lay on my seat and I popped it in. The first song~ oh Lord, I was nearly reduced to tears. All of the nations singing “How Great is Our God”. Have you heard it? It’s like nothing I have ever heard. The story behind it is amazing but hearing it is …well, out of this world. I cranked it so that my tires were bouncing, my windshield vibrating. I stopped to take pics with this song on repeat. And I was amazed…
The Glory of God. The awesomeness of His creation. The beauty in the wilderness. And that song…..the soundtrack. Wow.
I don’t know what the future holds, but by God’s grace I am REDEEMED and He is GREAT enough to carry me through whatever comes. And beyond all of my own fears, worries and struggles, I am so comforted by the fact that there is coming a day when all of the nations will worship at the feet of Jesus. He is coming soon.