I’m slowly finding my way back into a blogging cycle. SLOWLY. Sorry about that. Hard to get back to early mornings, school lunches, homework helper and organizer of all the things. Oh, which by the way, I have never been. An organizer. Well, I am and I’m not. Long story. Scattered, focused chaos. That is my life.
I have been wanting to do a series on weddings, marriage and staying married for a long time. September may seem like an odd time but in reality, fall and the months leading up to Christmas are prime engagement and wedding planning seasons. In anticipation of next spring and summer and all of you who are planning, hoping to be planning, and planning on planning, my goal is to convince you that all your dreams can become a reality but not in the way or for the money you always thought. I am going to attempt to reprogram your thinking on weddings. And it all starts with the dream of that dress…
Earlier this summer my girls got all hung up on Say Yes to the Dress on TLC. I have a love/hate relationship with that show. I love Randy and the old episodes with Keasha. But the picky bridezilla types? No thanks. Big time turn off for me right there. And then I get sad. I am sad for the families, sad for the guys who marry these girls and sad mostly for the women who have made the hunt for the “PERFECT” dress(of which there is no such thing) THE ultimate focus of their wedding.
When my daughter was shopping for her grad dress earlier this year she wanted to try on every colour, every style and it was exhausting. Before we even started I told her a couple of things: 1. This is ONE day of your whole life. It is not your wedding and it is not the defining moment of your life so don’t put more emphasis on what you’re wearing than on the fact that you have completed high school and life goes on.
2. There will always—-ALWAYS be a prettier dress. You could try on dresses forever and still be able to find one prettier, better and more perfect(of which there is no such thing) than the last one. So my advice: stop. Just stop when you find one you love and makes you feel pretty and isn’t too expensive and is just right for this day and this moment. Stop. Walk away. Buy it and let it be.
That was a tough sell. I’m not gonna lie to you. She wanted to try on more. She did go without me to other stores and she tried to push the budget. (We were trying to stay under $300)
The dress came to us subtly. I knew it was the one and somewhere deep inside she did too. She just wanted to try more on though and in the end she felt like she “settled” which is exactly what I wanted to avoid. You never want to feel like you caved and went with the cheap one or the easy one or the “safe” choice. But from the beginning, the consultants in the store, Grandma, me and others all knew, this is the one.
Girls, why am I bothering showing you my teenage daughter shopping for grad dresses in a wedding post?
The secret is not the dress you wear, how much you spent, the designer’s name or where you bought it. It matters not if you tried on 20 or tried on 2. (I tried one on and it was THE one the first time- that was it). The secret to a beautiful bride is the groom. In fact..that’s all that matters. You could get married in a paper bag or burlap sack and look gorgeous because the love and light in your eyes when you look at your man at the end of that aisle is going to make you the most beautiful woman in the world- to him and to everyone who sees you.
Find the right guy(and don’t go looking for the perfect one…remember, there is no such thing), love him, let him love you and for goodness’ sake, go get married!!
Next post: HOW to get married fast and cheap. Yes. It’s time to turn the tide on long engagements, going into debt and ridiculous details.