Occasionally I look through my Facebook photo albums. They’re like a chronological photo diary of my life for the past 6 years which is actually pretty cool. Every album I post usually has a theme, whether it’s seasonal(Christmas, summer , springtime, harvest) or topical( graduation, weddings, reunions, storms).
One thing I do not have a lot of, is photos of my family.
For some people this is a bummer, a downer. And I’ll admit that I wish you could see what I see and I wish I could share more but here’s the thing, my family doesn’t want me sharing any more than I already am.
For a long time there was an inside joke about “she who shall not be named” and the fact that SHE didn’t want any photos, comments, posts, etc of her, about her, relating to her on Facebook not then , not now, not ever. Since that time SHE has relaxed but only slightly and realizes that I am not the only person in the world who takes her photos, goes to family functions with her, sees her, visits her, talks to her. SHE has realized that she can’t control it all. So I have snuck in a few photos and some highlights that yes, SHE indeed is still alive and well and we do see HER. BUT, that’s where it ends. SHE wants her privacy and I have to respect that.
In the same way, my kids don’t like me posting, tagging and generally commenting about them, to them or to others about them. I have 4 kids and they are all teens. We have a rule that they MUST have their parents as Facebook friends. My oldest two have blocked me or restricted me. They still do occasionally but I have learned that even “liking” a post or photo or a generic comment may get me banned, so I just don’t. They do let me post the odd photo of them but I can’t tag them. However, I do tag them in statuses if I want them to see something or if I want to totally embarrass them. (Yes, that is my prerogative). I don’t use this option often but it’s there if I need it!
The thing is this: Your family didn’t ask you to join Facebook and you didn’t consult them when you did.
And there’s a bit of compromise that needs to happen here. My family who is NOT on Facebook has to concede that although they may not want their face ever seen on Facebook , the reality is that people do take pictures and they do share them. We’ve been doing this since the dawn of photography, Facebook or not. You go into people’s homes and they have photos of you that you never knew about. Most of us are likely in thousands of photos in the world and we will never see most of them. But when it comes to respecting the privacy and wishes of our family members, we have to show some grace.
I mean no disrespect to my family. But I will post photos that are relevant and pertinent to MY life. I never want to offend or embarrass(well, except my kids occasionally) anyone so there have been times when I have been asked to remove photos and remove tags and even though I may have disagreed with the reasoning, I did it. Because I love my family.
You won’t see a lot of pictures of my kids. They just don’t want me to post much. However, I do find it funny how they will post a ridiculous amount of “selfies”. That’s tomorrow’s topic. 😉
For all of the posts in this series, click here.